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jbelmont

California
3106 Posts

Posted - 01/28/2022 :  8:06:15 PM  Show Profile  Visit jbelmont's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Please read my other post about how God tested me. Because God might test Notaries on integrity and giving Oaths since they are given under God. If you don't do it right, you might get judgement or worse -- you might hear ethereal thunder!

In any case, I was talking to God. I have to talk to him because I can't find his email address. I said:

ME: God, I need certain types of help from you.
1. I generally need help with my spiritual life.
2. I need help finding balance in life, although your idea of balance might be very different from mine. and...
3. Do you know any good Thai restaurants in the area? The Tom Yum Gai at the local place has lost its edge. It still has the Tom, but the yum is definitely going down hill possibly because the gai who cooks it is new. I need a new spot not too far away that does a good job with drunken noodles or gangster noodles.

GOD: I can't help so much with the Tom Yum Gai issue, that's really not my thing. But, I know a few places with excellent gangster noodles. But, go there quickly.

ME: Why is that?

GOD: Because they are all going to hell soon. 2022 is Judgement year which basically means a collection of judgement days for a large portion of humanity.

ME: Well personally, I prefer to go to heaven, but I heard that the food is better in hell. Have you ever heard of Pollo del Diablo with five types of Mexican chilis.

GOD: Yes, that is one of my favorite dishes. Even I go to hell from time to time, but not for more than a few minutes. You know, to rough bad guys up and sample the local cuisine.

ME: Got it. When I went to El Salvador and hung out with Maria people asked what I was doing. I remarked, "I'm trying the local cuisine."

GOD: Just don't do anything forbidden with the local cuisine.

ME: And one thing. THANK GOD I passed my test with God.

GOD: Don't thank me. I was tricking you into failing the entire time in multiple ways, and you passed anyway. Thank yourself.

ME: Good point. And one more thing. Where can I find the Messiah. I know I know... Look within.

GOD: Actually I heard he hangs out at Chung's palace, usually sits in the back and always orders Beijing Beef.

ME: Who would have thought. But, one more thing.

GOD: What?

ME: When you eat the Beijing beef... Don't eat the red things (pause) it wouldn't be Kosher.

GOD: Good point.

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